when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
