is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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