i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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