What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
