I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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