sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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