I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
