he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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