your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
