I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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