I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
