I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize