All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
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I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need water and some morals
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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