we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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