I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize