I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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