Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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