oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
