I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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