I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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