You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
