It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
