You were right. It hurts to walk today.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Randomize
