I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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