So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
