I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
