i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
