the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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