i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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