cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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