Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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