ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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