I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
