my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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