So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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