...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
