Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
