at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is wine microwaveable?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
