The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
my liver is dry heaving
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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