oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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