i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
