she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
