this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
