Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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