I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize