i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize