let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
COCAINE IS GR8
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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