We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
