I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain