Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
