chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
