Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
