and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.