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i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
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