So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That's what I'm talking about
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?