In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize