yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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