Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
