Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
