How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
